Tantrums are healing
The Healing Power of Emotional Release
As parents or caregivers, navigating toddler tantrums can be both challenging and rewarding. Understanding that tantrums often stem from built-up energy and a need for connection is key to responding effectively. By delving into the world of self-regulation and energetic connections, we can learn how our calm and regulated presence influences our children positively, teaching them the art of self-regulation. We will explore the profound effects of self-regulation on our children's behavior and how we can inform one another through the power of energetic vibrations.
Why Tantrums?: The word "tantrum" is believed to have originated in the late 18th century, although its precise etymology is not entirely clear. It is thought to be a derivative of the word "tantram," which originally referred to a sudden outburst of anger or an emotional fit. The word has been adopted into the English language to describe a child's or, more broadly, anyone's sudden display of frustration, anger, or distress. Tantrums are really just a release of built-up energy and a call for connection from a loving adult. Our little ones may lack the verbal skills to articulate their emotions, leading to emotional outbursts. Little traumas build up throughout the days and weeks, storing in the limbic brain as a thick matter. When your child is quick to cry and is getting upset about little things like what color cup they want or the size of the apple you cut, take this as a sign that your child is looking to have an emotional release. This is not a case where if you give them the pink cup or the different apple, they will be happy. This is a situation where they are looking to cry and looking for reasons to do it.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Regulation: As adults, our ability to self-regulate our nervous system plays a pivotal role in guiding our children's emotional responses. When we stay calm and regulated, our child mirrors that energy, learning by example how to manage their own emotions effectively. Modeling self-regulation cultivates a secure and trusting relationship. When our children are seeking an emotional release, we need to be in the right place to hold that space for them. We won’t always be ready or in the right zone for this, especially if we are making dinner, changing the baby’s diaper, or anything else that comes up in the day. However, when we ARE ready, our ability to self regulate allows us to hold that space for them.
Holding Space for Emotional Release: Human beings are energetic beings, and our vibrations can inform one another. When we are grounded and centered, our children can sense that stability, providing them with a safe emotional space to express themselves. This energetic dance of connection fosters a deeper understanding of emotions. When our child is having an emotional release, the best thing we can do is physically hold them and say, “I hear you. I am right here.” This is not a time to speak with them in a cognitive way about why they are upset. This is the time when they need to release all those built up traumas stored in their limbic brain and clear them out. We simply remain calm, breathe, and work on centering our own nervous system to allow them to let it all out. When your child is done crying, you will notice because they will have a big, deep breath and then another. This is the nervous system down regulating and we know they are through it. A release cry can last anywhere from 5 minutes to 1 hr depending on what your child needs to get out. Typically, the more you hold space, the shorter these sessions will be. If you are just beginning this practice, you may have longer releases. Stay calm, remain present and continue to say, “I hear you. I am right here.” Your child is letting go of whatever no longer serves them and you will often see a big development following a release cry.
The Healing Power of Play and Presence: Engaging in play with our children offers an avenue for bonding and healing. Through play, children can express their emotions freely, helping them self-regulate and find balance in their inner world. Try and dedicate 10-15 minutes a day of uninterrupted play with your child, doing something they want to do with you. You can set a timer, put away your phone, and be present. This will set the tone of your relationship and give your child a sense of connection with you, who they love so very much.
Nurturing Emotional Intelligence: As we embrace self-regulation and energetic connections, we foster emotional intelligence in our children. They learn to recognize their emotions as valid and navigate challenging moments with resilience and understanding.
Empowering toddler tantrums requires a profound understanding of self-regulation and the energetic connections we share with our children. By remaining calm and regulated ourselves, we teach them the art of self-regulation and emotional balance. Human beings are more than just physical entities; we inform and connect with one another through vibrations. Embracing this energetic dance and dedicating time to play and presence empowers our children to navigate their emotions and form secure attachments. As we grow together in this journey of emotional connection, we nurture emotional intelligence, building a strong foundation for their future well-being.